#testingbutchface (reviews)

bring your money, leave your self-restraint

EDITED 15th May to put back the formatting, cheers WordPress, appreciate it.

Living in the UK isn’t a utopia, you know. Sure, we have the National Health Service, which provides free medical care to anyone regardless of income. Yeah, we gave the world a couple of cool people like Shakespeare and this Northern band called the Beatles. Oh, true, while we may not all love our robotic overlord Prime Minster, we aren’t run by a terrifying screaming Cheeto who thought the Handmaid’s Tale was full of great, really good, superb ideas.

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But really, it’s hard sometimes. For example, when I want to spend my money on frivolous gloop to smear on my face skin, I… I… I sometimes have to get on a bus.

Sometimes I have to change buses.

virgin

The struggle is real, fam.

Continue reading “bring your money, leave your self-restraint”

#testingbutchface (reviews)

how i hair (part one)

Let me tell you. If I ever hear the phrase, “your hair is so short, it must be so easy to style!!!11” ONE MORE TIME… innocent people will suffer.

No, my hair is not fucking easy to style.

Do you think anything about this (points dramatically to self) is easy?? HAHAHAH. 

But! I love my hair so much. When it’s good, it’s. So. Fucking. Good. I used to have long hair up until 2-3 years ago (story behind that another time!) and I looked like a middle aged geography substitute teacher. Hey kids, wanna buy some drugs?

So I don’t mind working at it. Cos when it’s good, freshly cut and kinda quiffy I feel like a boss. 

Example of good hair

Example of bad hair and also bad brows, fixed now!

How do I achieve this apparently effortless mess? Let me tell you.

1. Getting it cut all. The. Fucking. Time. Luckily my best friend, the Magnificent Femme manages most of my life, including making my hair appointments and also ensuring I arrive more or less on time. I am so pathetically grateful for this, you have no idea.

2. Get a really fucking good barber. I’ve just moved to Cut Throat London and they are the boss. I have no worries that I’ll walk out with something dreadful like a… pixie cut (shudder).

3. Get used to using a lot of product. Get used to buying shit and it not working and you screaming into your fist in the bathroom. And once you find your products, lock that shit down. Do not mess with a good line up. Speaking of…

Don’t be silly, I don’t use all these at once! Haha. Silly. Just four at a time. Ahem. Yeah, I do have back pain. 

Next I’ll take you through the line up and why I’ll never change of any of these products. 

Stay swaggy.

#testingbutchface (reviews)

wash your dirty fucking face

You know when a picture speaks a thousand words? Well, this is what I want to show people when they tell me double cleansing is overkill or, “micellar water is as good as anything else!”.

The left hand cotton pad was used to clean the left side of my face after a typical London day. I used micellar water.

The right hand pad is the same face, same day, but with Banila Co Clean It Zero balm and a foaming cleanser.

I don’t wear make up.

I hadn’t been running.

Just a normal day around London.