But really, is that such an outlandish statement? In a world where green juice and yoga are touted as a miracle cure for everything from cancer to OCD?
(Side note – a wise owl once said to me that “unasked for advice is criticism in disguise”. My ma once said, “tell them to get tae fuck”. Stop with the home remedies people, JFC. Show me a peer-reviewed, replicable scientific study or get out)
So here we are. In a shock to nobody, I have depression, as well as an exciting array of other quirks, brain fuck ups and just weird shit.
Plus, I’m uh, “between opportunities” at the moment and for someone who has based their entire image and self worth on work, that’s fucking hard man.
So hard that sometimes I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t mean having a lazy sleep, I mean, if the house was on fire I’d shrug. Typical. Fire now? Sigh. I’ll sort that… tomorrow.
I think the cruellest thing about depression is how it sucks the joy out of things that you love. Hobbies? I guess blinking is a hobby, right?
I love skincare and I love talking about it. But at the moment it feels like I’m carrying the world between my shoulder blades and I can’t stop for a minute or else… something something.
Yeah, I fucking know, Mr Williams. But the day has seized me, chewed me up and spat me out. (Also you are an angel and I love you and always will)
So. We are where we are. And I have had to reassess my expectations. I’m not going to save the world today and that’s FINE (it isn’t). If all I can do in a day is wash my face, that’s enough. For now.
Except! Something happened when I made that sad little commitment to myself. If I washed my face I might as well get in the shower to clean it off. If I’m in the shower I might as well wash my hair. If I’m washing my hair I might as well wash my body and brush my teeth and now I have to moisturise and then and then.
It sounds crazy but hi, welcome to my head. Washing my face is a reminder that I am worth taking care of. If we strip all the reviews, all the HG gloating, all the haul posts away, isn’t what this is about?
You, and I, are worth taking care of. If you can’t take care of yourself, ask someone else to help. Your brain might lie and say people are awful and cruel, but unless you’re in high school, that is a lie. People are kind and need to help others. Ask for what you need and if the people around you can’t give it, find people who can. Find the other weird glow worms. And don’t give up. Don’t give up washing your face. It’s a moment in each day you can touch your face with love and kindness. The way we all should be touched.
I’ll finish up now with more wise words from the late, great genius, Mr Robin Williams. The man who taught me to be funny.
(Dicks are fucking hilarious)
(PS, go wash your face. It’ll be okay I promise)