I’ve found it. The butchiest face mask in the world. Like, if I was famous, this is the product I would advertise, not because it’s super effective but because it is so. on. brand.
Picture the scene.
I walk out of a car repair shop, wiping my hands on a dirty rag and not smiling because that’s for girls. Cut to the bathroom, where I sneer at the fruity scented masks, possibly clearing them off the shelf into the garbage bin with one almighty swoop. I can do that because I have biceps in this reality and the white tank top I’m wearing proves it.
I proudly replace all the nice pretty bottles with one black box and the tag line rolls.
For when you want your face to smell like a gun.
This should be the next super bowl commercial.
Magnetic face masks are all over YouTube and IG right now and I have zero willpower so I bought this cheap one from Amazon. Yes, it was 3am. Yes, whiskey was involved. You know me so well.
It’s a weird texture and painting it on is more like frosting a cupcake. But then, oh my gosh. You cover the magnet with a tissue and hold it over your skin. Please see the video below.
I’m not a huge fan of bubble masks as I think it feels like tiny spiders racing over my skin. But this is so pleasant! Nicely tickly and just mmm, yes. Like when someone scratches your neck or touches your ears. *dies*
Fun fact, I have super sensitive ears, like my Da. When my parents were arguing my Dad would cover his ears and shout NO NO NO, because if he didn’t, Sneaky Mam would rub them and therefore win the argument. Sneaky, sneaky.
The mask comes off really easily which is actually sad because I want that sensation to last forever.
And afterwards, your face smells like a gun.
It smells like car parts and blood and pennies and while you might not enjoy that, I found it enchanting. There is an oily residue which you’re supposed to massage in, or in my case, run around yelling SMELL MY FACE I SMELL SO WEIRD.
It doesn’t vaccum your pores or any nonsense like that, but it feels really good. Yah, it’s skintertainment and not for pros. But I get tired of the retinols that smell like chemotherapy and the essences that blur into a watery puddle in my memory. It’s so… adult and sometimes I want to play.
This is so much fun and I loved using it. Butch recommended!