Ladies, please don’t get your nipples out at the beauty counter. It can’t end well. We know this, right? Like the song goes…
If you had
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?
Her pores are sweaty, genes weak, concealer heavy,
There’s blackheads on her forehead, bangs are messy,
She’s nervous, but on the surface she looks calm and ready
Steps to the counter, but she keeps on forgettin’
The shades she wrote down, the lifestyle brands allowed,
She opens her mouth, but the names just won’t come out
She’s chokin’, foundation slippin’ down her brow,
So many shades, liner too, need a colour match, now!
[*SMACKS TIT ON COUNTER*]
Yeah it’s real heavy, it’s a thing called gravity,
Oh, there goes security, she hoped so bad,
But she won’t give up that easy
She won’t have it, she knows the whole lip secret’s dope,
It don’t matter, it’s cold, she knows that and she’s freezing…
WE HAVE GONE INSANE, ABANDON THE WORLD TO THE TREES
PS. Writing white girl rap parodies is shameful, but just spare a thought for that poor bastard PR person who probably worked super hard in college but then had to write a press release about lip shades and nipples. The real hero of this story.